Posts

Close Encounters of the 1916ᵗʰ Kind

Gerry Adams raised the still beating heart of SkraK V’roul and unleashed a victorious roar that could be heard half way across the galaxy. Below him lay the corpse of the planet killing spider demon, its 9 trillion red eyes gazing lifelessly at its bearded conqueror. The deafening sound of clapping and cheering filled the colosseum. The crowd suddenly became silent as a high pitched voice announced: “Earth warrior. You were selected by our wise elders as the best of your kind. You have not disappointed us. Name anything your heart desires. If it is within our power to give, it is yours.” “There are only six things I desire…..but they are not yours to give. They were stolen from my people and must be taken back by force.” “Then we will help you. Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you have enjoyed our show today.” Gerry felt his whole body tingle as he was beamed from the asteroid colosseum to the nearby spaceship in orbit, where the Qfxgbdnlyp elders were gathered. “...

Ireland 2038: 20 Years after Repeal of the 8ᵗʰ Amendment

“FUCK I’M SO SORRY!” “Did you seriously just sexually assault me?!” “No! I’ve just dropped my book, I was trying to pick it up!” “Did I give you consent to touch my ankle?” “I swear it was an accident! It’s so crowded here!” “It’s 2038. I should be able to take a fucking luas without being raped” “I….I…I…listen can you not report this please?” “Hmmm I suppose we can come to a deal. What book are you reading?” “The Winds of Winter by George R. R. Martin. It just came out last week”. “Give me that” Aisha ripped out the last twenty pages, put them in her pocket and handed the book back to her assailant. The man bolted out of the open doors when the luas arrived at the next stop. Aisha chuckled. She couldn’t blame him. A news article she read last week was saying how a creepy man on the luas had been making prolonged eye contact with a female passenger. The man was promptly reported to the authorities and arrested by the PC Brigade several ho...